Category: Reflections

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A Definition of Success

Before the foundation of the earth, I believe that my Creator had a blueprint for my life. And when I discover what that is and I live it. That’s success.

When I first heard this quote, it completely blew my mind. I’ve heard a number of definitions of success—generic ones, definitions from very successful, well-regarded people from the secular sector, and God-first sounding ones from the spiritual section. It’s probably because of where I’m at in life 1 why this particular quote hit me. Unfortunately, I do not have a definitive answer who said this. I’m sure there have been many variations of it, but this exact copy of this quote has an inexact origin.

I heard this this past Sunday at church. Our guest speaker was Gideon Sang of Vox Veniae in Austin, Texas. Gideon attributed this quote to Daniel Smith of Danielson Famile. Gideon heard it in the Danielson Famile’s documentary called Danielson: A Family Movie (or, Make a Joyful Noise Here). Knowing Gideon’s source, I was originally going to attribute that quote to Daniel Smith. But after the service on Sunday, I wanted to know the quote word for word. I searched all over the web looking up terms from whatever I remembered from the quote: “foundation”, “success”, “Daniel Smith”, “blueprint”. I couldn’t find anything close to it. Finally, I had to find the movie myself.

I did manage to procure said movie. The movie, Danielson: A Family Movie (or, Make a Joyful Noise Here), is a great documentary. It’s a story of Daniel Smith starting a band, brought his family in as members, and performed in clubs and bars in front of (mostly) a secular audience. His lyrics are faith-based and the music has a an “indie”2 feel to it. Anyway, whether or not you’re Christian, it’s a definite watch.

So I watched the movie from beginning to end, and there is nowhere in that film where Daniel Smith said that particular quote. Gideon mentioned Daniel said this quote in a press interview near the end. Daniel did say this about success:

Success to me, first and foremost, is staying to true to who you’re made to be. Who you’re created to be. I believe from the beginning of time—before time—there’s a plan that’s been written for each and one of us. And when you’re born those things that are in you. Our life’s journey is to find out what those things are… And to discover those tools within us… And to exercise those skills… And refine them… To me, that’s success.

— Daniel Smith of Danielson Famile

Gideon Sang wasn’t too far off. His version is more direct and a bit more eloquent compared to Daniel Smith’s, but both men drove the point home.  We were given a purpose. We are driven to find it. (I also have a good idea what the general theme is to everyone’s purpose in life, but I’ll save that for another post.)

 

  1. Which is sort of like where I was about two years ago, but slightly better [↩]
  2. Yup, I’m bad with genres, and it definitely does not sound like pop music. [↩]
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Wanted: Adventure with a Princess, inquire within

Life now is definitely better than life of yesteryear.  I’ve already listed my struggles and trials multiple of times in past posts, and I initially wanted to write how even though things are “better” I still haven’t understood if I’m “there yet” or even close to “there” (wherever “there” is).  This post is still sort of like that, but at least I found a solution so it’s not all whining and complaining 🙂

Earlier this week, I made a mediocre attempt to clean my room.  While doing so, I ran across a worn book that was handed down to me: John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart.  If I recall correctly, my dad gave it to me for my 25th birthday.  I know I started reading it at the time because I had a makeshift bookmark with notes from that era of my life.  I picked the book up and started reading again.

They say this is the kind of book that every Christian man ought to read (and honestly, it’s a book that every man should read despite their place in faith).  This book has been around for 10 years now and I wonder only now I felt led to read it.  During my time at APU, this book came up a countless number of times and it was always on my TODO list but never got around to actually doing it until now.  So what changed?

After reading the first chapter, I understood why now and why not ever before.  Life this year is far more interesting, exciting, and risky than any other year prior to this.  After rediscovering and regenerating my relationship with God—Father, friend, LORD of my life—I choose daily that I will choose His way—His Will—over mine and that opened up a whole new world of opportunities and wonder.  These are opportunities to succeed (when I choose to use His strength) and opportunities to fail (when I choose to do it on mine).

That said, I firmly believe where I am right now is exactly where God wants me to be.  And it’s hard right now.  He gave me an opportunity to build a wing of our company from 12 people to over 90 (and still growing).  And the vision for what needed to be done and what ought to do was clear at the start, but now it’s getting extremely difficult with the number of people that’s involved.  The problems will only grow larger as we add more people.   I don’t know what to do.  I felt like I lost control… And that’s when I remembered I never had any control in the first place.  When I saw His Will and took control as my own, that’s when I fell off the path and need to right myself.  This is hard.  Despite choosing Him over me every morning through reading His Word and ceaseless praying, every single day is a challenge above what I can endure and I feel it ends with disappointment every time.  Work is hard.  It’s a lot of—well—work!

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what I’ve been feeling.  I met this girl—this wonderful woman—whom I thought I wouldn’t have these kind of intimate feelings for her.  It starts out as friends.  Then we shared our past.  She told me she now lives for God and she strives to live for our LORD every given moment.  I fell in love with her spirit.  As I got to know her with every conversation and interaction passing by, my attraction grew stronger.  I’ve never been more open and honest with anyone prior to her, and yet I feel I’m missing something.  It’s not her, but there’s something about me that I’m failing to understand thus doubting my ability to ever give her what she longs for.

I recognized all of this—all that I’m striving and longing for—within the first chapter of Wild at Heart.  This book was going to have the answers I wanted!  Answers?  Actually, forget answers, I didn’t even know the questions I wanted to ask.  This book has the questions I needed to identify!   When I finished reading it this morning, I have a better understanding of God’s design behind both man and woman—Adam and Eve.  I have a better understanding why Adam longs for adventure and why it’s a good thing that my position at my company has inherit risks in an uncharted territory.  I have a better understanding what Eve longs for and that I will be out there fighting for her because I want her.

So… exactly where do I go from here?  I want that adventure.  I don’t know exactly know what it is (and that is the correct question to ask), but I know there’s something within me that wants to go out into His world and live it.  Eldredge wrote, “Life is not a problem to be solved; it is an adventure to be lived.”  My goal before the end of today is to find out what adventure I want to do next.  Don’t ever ask how—”How is a faithless question!”  Eldredge wrote that how is God’s department.  Our desires is what we want to do and start our journey there.

What about the beauty to rescue?  The princess worth fighting for?  Yes, exactly that—she is worth fighting for, and my goal is to make it known that she is worth every bruise, wound, scar, gash (mostly figuratively) and that she’s longed for and affectionately wanted.  Our story will never end there.  The story goes on with our hearts writing out the adventure we want to live in His world—LORD of our lives, LORD of all creation—AMEN!

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2011, making a better year

I started out the new year away from home with a few friends from college out in June Lake.  I remember the first time I went with a similar group of people way back in 2003.  At that point in life, I was experiencing change and I knew God wanted to do something grand, but I was resistant to allow Him to take total control of my life.  My remaining time completing my undergrad work was met with a lot of friction—I wanted to control my destiny whereas God wanted me to do greater things.

Because I didn’t want to let go of control, there was a lot of pain in understanding what I were to do next.  It wasn’t until five years after graduating is when I realized I had completely let go and hit an all-time low in my life.  (It’s definitely wasn’t rock bottom when compared to other people’s life-changing experience, but it was definitely the lowest point in my own life.)  That was 2010.  It was an extremely hard year for me, but as I mentioned before, it could have ended a lot worst.  It was 2010 that I needed to reconcile my relationship with God.  I went back to prayer.  I rediscovered His Word.  I listened for His voice.  I devoted my life daily to discover His will for me.

With all that mind, I’m starting 2011 a bit differently.  I’m reminded I have friends who care.  I discovered despite my current job in the marketplace may not be ideal, I have the ability to share what it means to live as a Christian to over three dozen people.  I may not yet be in tuned to God’s voice, but I’m making a daily effort to understand His character in order to discern what it means to act, do, decide, and speak in Christ-likeness.

So far, this year is starting off far better than I could ever imagine.  I never thought I could be in a position like this over a year ago considering the pain and lost of direction I experienced.  So I thank Him.  Both good and suffering will be experienced this year, and whatever hard decisions and experiences I come across, God is always good.  God is always faithful. I will always put my trust in Him.  His love is all I need.

Below are a few photographs I pulled from my trip up to June Lake during the New Year’s weekend.  It was amazing to be in the middle of His creation and (mostly) step away from man’s doing (i.e. technology).  Though, at the same time, I did capture these photographs with Nikon’s latest DSLR.  😉

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Count thy blessings

It’s been a financially tough year for me (even then, it really wasn’t).  I didn’t want to generically say it was a rough year because it really wasn’t that bad.  I still had my health.  That counts for something compared to others who have been suffering.  I didn’t completely lose my job this year.  It was more like I was “in-between-projects”.  I only work for my company if they have any projects.  This year it was a complete dry spell for work.  I’m pretty positive I worked a grand total of 4 months so far this year. So yeah, it was rough.

With all this newly free time I acquired, I decided to get right (or at least strive towards that goal) with God as well as visit a few friends that I lost along the way.  I can’t quite figure out the math how I managed to avoid applying for unemployment but still always tithed whatever God provisioned, didn’t need to struggle in order to put food on the table and a roof over my head, as well as take four trips back home to see my friends and family.  I looked at my accounts this last month and realized that I’m not going to make it.  At that point it felt like God came out of nowhere to give company work to finish out the year (albeit I had to take a significant pay cut, but getting something is always better than nothing).

I really don’t get it.  I just don’t.

I know I was never in a unrecoverable position compared to the rest of the world.  But it was relatively worrisome for me.  God is with me every step of the way and I don’t want to ever forget that He was and always will be.  I have a lot to thank for this Thanksgiving.

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Not my ideal circumstance

I know I haven’t posted much about my devotions, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing them.  I do them every single day.  I may have only completely missed doing a devotion possibly 3 times since I (re)started this task back in March or so.  I read a piece of insightful literature, I read the Word, I pray, and I listen every single morning.  Some mornings I manage to devote half an hour, others I manage to only get in 15 minutes, and very rarely (which I should do more often) I pray and contemplate for an hour.

I do this because I know I’m not where I should be—physically, mentally, and spiritually.  I don’t know what I want to do career-wise (makes it worst since current job hardly gives me any work as of late).  I still struggle with the same temptations and addictions first discovered years ago.  And I know I’ve forgotten what God’s subtle voice sounds like.

With that said, my prayers haven’t only been for myself and my search to discover His Will for me.  I had to be aware of where I currently am and pray for the people around me.  It wasn’t until during a Sunday evening service in the middle of summer that he told me whom I should be praying for.  It was a reminder we should always be practicing intercession.

Daily, I prayed for this one person.  I prayed that I would be the person that God would use to intervene and tell the story of His Word.  But not once was I ever put in an opportune situation to do so.  But without fail, I keep praying every day for her.  And as every day goes by when I get to that part of the prayer, I keep asking Him, “Why should I keep this prayer if I’m never given the opportunity to her about You?”  And today, I ran into this tidbit in my devotions…

The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstances1

The circumstances of a saint’s life are ordained of God.  In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance.  God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands.  God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you.  Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, “I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that.”  All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique.  Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them.  In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints.

Am I making the Holy Spirit’s work difficult by being vague and unsure, or by trying to do His work for Him?  I must do the human side of intercession—utilizing the circumstances in which I find myself and the people who surround me.  I must keep my conscious life as a sacred place for the Holy Spirit.  Then as I lift different ones to God through prayer, the Holy Spirit intercedes for them.

Your intercessions can never be mind, and my intercessions can never be yours, “…but the Spirit Himself makes the intercession” in each of our lives (Romans 8:26).  And without that intercession, the lives of others would be left in poverty and in ruin.

And so, I will continue to pray.  I pray so that the Holy Spirit will intercede others around her and that they will gain the confidence to share His story.  I also pray that no matter what circumstance I find myself in—no matter how mundane or insignificant it may appear to be—that I listen to the Holy Spirit and do God’s Will to affect those who are around me.

  1. My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, November 7th [↩]
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Here and Now

This song is done by the Ekoh worship team at CCV.  You can sample their album at the iTunes store.  This song has really resonates with me due to the re-identification of myself in these last 6 months.  The lyrics listed here is verbatim from the actual song on the album.  The lyrics listed in the CD inlet is slightly different.

I couldn’t find the exact chords, but I’m pretty sure it’s just D – G – Bm – A.  The bridge is just G – A repeated.  The last measure of the bridge before it goes back to the chorus would be G – Bm instead of G – A.  Please correct me in the comments if I’m off 🙂

I was so far, so far from You
But you pulled me closer, closer to You
And I called out to You and heard Your sweet, sweet voice
And I reached out to You and felt Your touch

In the silence You are speaking
In the stillness You are moving
In the chaos You’re still here
Here with us

I was so lost searching for love
But you are so loving, so loving towards me
And I called out to you, and heard your sweet, sweet voice
And I reached out to you, and felt your touch

God is still moving
God is still speaking
God is still healing
Here and now

You are still moving
You are still speaking
You are still hearing
Here and now

Written by Blaine Stark

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“Is this whisper really from God?”

I’m taking this from Bill Hybel’s The Power of a Whisper1 verbatim.  I want to post it here to serve myself as a reminder if what I’m hearing is truly from God or if I’m going crazy and telling myself what I want to hear. (My apologies to Zondervan if this is a little too much quoting…)

1. Is the Prompting Truly from God?

Whenever you receive a prompting—whether from God directly or through the lips of another—take whatever time is necessary to ask, “God, is this message from you?  Does this square with who I know you to be?  Is it consistent with your character? Is it aligned with your attributes? Is this you trying to convey something to me, or are there voices getting into my head?” Before taking a single step to obey the whisper you’ve received, be sure you get thee all-clear that the voice you have heard could be from God.

2. Is it Scriptural?

Scripture is replete with examples of how God would behave in any given life situation, and the Example’s name is Jesus Christ.  Whenever I sense a prompting from God, I ask myself if I could imagine Jesus doing whatever action the prompting is suggesting I do.  If I can’t envision Jesus Follow suit, I fear my wires somehow must have gotten crossed.  Check every prompting you receive against the thematic teachings of Scripture.  Messages that contradict Scripture are not from God

3.  Is it Wise?

God’s whispers rarely go against wisdom and common sense.  The entire book of Proverbs is devoted to dissecting wisdom and all her attributes.  For example, the wise one loves knowledge, while the fool hates it; the wise one practices gentle speech, while the fool uses harsh, incendiary words; the wise one lives blamelessly, while the fool is utterly corrupt; the wise one follows a straight path, while the fool rejoices in the perverseness of evil; the wise one inherits honor, while the fool is held up to shame.  Scripture is relentless in exhorting us to be wise in all our dealings, to be wise in all our ways.

God’s direction rarely violates the wisdom test.  Be sure you’re not sidestepping what is wise in favor of acting quickly on whispers.  If God is indeed in the plan, it will likely not involve blatantly unwise action.

4. Is it in Tune with Your Own Character?

I caution people against running headlong into a field that is totally foreign to their writing patterns, their education, their expertise and their experience in life thus far.  It’s not that God can’t endorse a dramatic 180-degree turn.  It’s just that typically when does so, it gets affirmed through a series of whispers, from several sources, in a variety of different ways.

5. What Do the People You Most Trust Think about it?

Whenever you sense that God is speaking to you, find two or three veteran Christ-followers—preferably people who know you well and who are further down the spiritual path than you are—take some time to describe the situation to them in detail.  Humbly ask them, “Do you think God really did speak to me?  Is this the voice of God I’m hearing, or in your estimation did I get my wires crossed?” Then, listen openly and intently to the answers you receive, because they might just save your hide.

Subject every prompting to the godly counsel test.  It will save you from boatloads of heartache and just might affirm God’s best will for your life

– Bill Hybel

I do not take credit for these ideas.  Again, this is from Bill Hybel’s The Power of a Whisper.

  1. Appendix 2 from The Power of a Whisper by Bill Hybel [↩]
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Just say the word

I’m still referencing to Bill Hybels’ The Power of a Whisper.  In his last chapter, he writes a simple prayer we should use when asking to hear God’s whisper.

You say it, and I’ll do it.
You say it, and I’ll follow it.
You say it, and I’ll obey it.
You say it and I’ll carry it out.
Whatever it is you want done in order for your kingdom to advance, God, you whisper the word and consider it done

For me, personally, if I truly believe that our Creator is sovereign over everything—which clearly includes my own life—I will never hesitate to obey his commands.  At least that’s how I want to aim to live.  Go and do as commanded with faith like the centurion in Mark1.  Really.  If I truly believe He’s God, I trust Him fully.  I will listen to His whisper and do what He asks.  For He is Good.

  1. Mark 8:5-13 [↩]
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Here I am

Oh! give me Samuel’s ear,
An open ear, O Lord,
Alive and quick to hear
Each whisper of Thy Word;
Like him to answer to Thy call
And to obey Thee first of all.1

I finished reading Bill Hybels’ The Power of a Whisper.  The primary reason why I started my daily devotions was due to forgetting what God’s voice sounded like.  Months would go by and I still couldn’t recognize what His voice even with the daily devotions.  I felt my distant from Him felt even further during this period of trying to get closer.  When I read the first chapter from Bill Hybels’ new book, I knew I had to pick it up immediately.  What caught Hybels’ attention (and mine too) is the story of Samuel as a young boy hearing God’s voice.

Here I am, you called me. […]
Speak, for your servant is listening2

Just thinking that God felt He would get to a little boy’s ear while asleep caught my attention.  God didn’t try to get little Samuel’s attention once but 4 times!  And the response that Samuel gives Him, “Here I am, you called me,” and then, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”  God did and he still does speak when you’re willing to listen.

Daily, I end my prayer with that.  I ask Him to speak because I, a servant of His, is listening.

  1. “Hushed Was the Evening Hymn” by James Drummon Burns [↩]
  2. 1 Samuel 3:9-10 [↩]
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In God I trust

Do not let your hearts be troubled, Trust in God; trust also in me (John 14:1)

The following was originally written on May 23rd in a Moleskine I keep with me for taking notes.  Every once in awhile, I’ll write a stream of thought.  This piece has been duplicated on this post without alteration to the stream of thought.

Mark 6:25-34

I am told not to worry about the details of this world.  He says not to worry about tomorrow.  I should not need to worry about the food I need, the clothes over me, or whether or not I am provided shelter.

Abandon these things of the world—not personally, but quit searching for it. Seek God first, not these little details of the world.  God promises He will provide.

What’s really stopping me from walking in faith?  He is there by my side.  He pulls me forward in the direction I asked for.  He’s feeding me the knowledge I need to understand that this is what I need to do—where I am going—what worldly things I need to leave behind.

Despite my current worldly struggles and sins, I don’t feel Him abandoning me now nor forever.  He is implanted in me.  Trust Him.  Walk forward in faith.  He will provide every need.

This was my first step in trusting God.  The second step was to Job’s story.  In case you haven’t read Job, here’s the gist of it.  Job loved and feared the Lord and because of this he was blessed with a fruitful life.  God allowed the devil to take away anything and everything important to Job.  He didn’t understand why and cried out to the Lord why these horrible events has happened to him.  At that point the skies opened up and God reminded Job his awesomeness of God (beings in Job 38).  Don’t forget, God is and always is in control.

Once I realized I can authentically trust God that my life is clearly in His hands, I moved on to the next step: planning.  When I’m planning, do not ever forget to put God first.  If the Holy Spirit is truly moving in you, you can and will make every decision that crosses your path with the wisdom provided by God through the Holy Spirit.  You are still making the decisions (make no mistake that you will always have your free will), but the Holy Spirit will guide you appropriately.

To man belongs the plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue (Proverbs 16:1)

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed. (Proverbs 16:3)

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

God’s will becomes yours.  Pray. Speak. Listen, carefully.