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Afternoon Coffee with God

This was transcribed from a prayer entry from my Moleskin journal. I visited a small coffee off of the PCH in Encinitas. I had a few hours to kill and I hadn’t had any time to write to God. I found this to be a great spot to do so. Also, since I did write this entry via pen and paper, it is intentional that this is scribed verbatim from the original source (grammar errors and all).

Cafe Ipe

What a beautiful day you have made! I am so blessed for what you have made for me. Thank you for the time where I’m able to just let in the presence of your creation. I really don’t know what to write. I know there are a lot of things on my heart I can easily seek for and ask—as you say I should ask… but I’m wondering if I can just come to you—to just speak to you—and to spend time with you. I know your love is great. I don’t want to come to you, God, for your stuff. I want to have the intention and and action to come to you just for you. I want to come to you with the faith and hope that it is your will for my life that can freely love for. I pray that I do not life for the happiness that you can bring, but recognize the pure joy I can partake with you because you came to save me and that you are always working for my good.

I want to be continually reminded of the blessings that came before me. As great as my memory is (in which you gave me), I continually forget about the good and always focus on the “what’s next”. I want you to infuse me of the true peace of your Spirit. I want to set myself aside—that I will not be an obstacle to your Holy Spirit, that I always yield to the Spirit at every test.

I guess I can’t stop thinking about this new quarter. You gave me something when I least expect it. And now I feel that pending sensation. This next quarter—spilling over to next year—is a time for preparation and a new inward growth. And I feel I’ll be frustrated at times. I am most likely going to fail and feel defeated, and I will be stretched then challenged in ways I cannot foresee. My emotions and physique may change—and it’s in a way you want me to change. It will be a time of inward organic growth.

And I know you will show me things—placed desires in me that I will work towards—but I know I will not be patient. Remind me, Father, that I am to be patient and grow through you every day. Remind me that you are the source of my joy. Through you I can be content. Through you I can live in peace. I will love. I will find self control. I will be patient.

Creator of the world you placed me in, I ask for even more wisdom. I ask for focus. Remove the things from my life that distracts me from the things you called me into.

I hope what I am feeling is a desire from you crafted in me. This idea that I am not rooted to any one place except to your heart—that you will call me and I will answer. That I may trust in you to provide all things—all things my body, mind, and soul long for—that it comes from you.

And give me a good rest that I can find in you. I pray these things in your Son’s name—Jesus Christ—Amen!

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Whatever you do, do well

#yopro Wed 1/30 prayer & worship setlist

 

I had the privilege to lead worship for my small group a couple weeks ago. I came in moderately prepared. Prior to this, I haven’t lead any kind of worship for roughly seven years, so I knew I was going to be rusty in both singing and playing as well as just an overall leader. Now, my small group isn’t large (did the word “small” give it away?), but I still felt a bit nervous playing and leading people. I think I messed up at least four or five times, but it didn’t matter too much, I kept moving my focus from me to God, and the night ended in a joyous time of prayer and worship.

When I got home that night, I felt bad about how I performed. I didn’t care so much how I performed in front of my peers. Sure, it may have been a tiny bit embarrassing that it was obvious I didn’t practice as much as I could have, but felt bad how I performed in worship in front of God. When I look at what He’s given me—not things, but raw talent and skill—I felt I didn’t honor Him by not honing my God given abilities.

I’m reminded of the the parable of the three servants.1 The master entrusted his servants with bags of silver. Two of the three servants doubled the master’s fortune, while the last one horded his share of silver and did nothing with it. The last servant was so scared that he might lose what his master gave him and stored it away in a safe place effectively where no one, not even the servant, could ever make use of it. The master became upset at this third servant that he took away the silver and gave it to the first servant (whom it seemed like the master entrusted the most considering the first servant was given 3 more bags of silver over the second servant).

To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.2

In its common context, this parable represents the monetary resources God gives us and our how we ought to be responsible stewards of said resources. When He entrusts us with His resources and we do well with what He’s given us, He is willing to give us more responsibility3 to even more resources.

So how does this relate to my ability to lead in worship? I believe the talents He gifted me with is also a resource that I’m responsible over. Did He bless me to be naturally perfect in these talents? No, but He has blessed me with the desire to be better and hone these skills He’s given me… whether those skills is musically, photographically, or programmatically, I owe it to Him to excel to the best of my own ability before He grants me more responsibility in those areas. I’m not striving for perfection (only He is perfect), I ought to keep striving for excellence so that He may be glorified.

Whatever you do, do well.4

  1. Matthew 25:14-30 [↩]
  2. Matthew 25:29 NLT [↩]
  3. Matthew 25:21, 23 [↩]
  4. Ecclesiastes 9:10a NLT [↩]
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In God I trust

Do not let your hearts be troubled, Trust in God; trust also in me (John 14:1)

The following was originally written on May 23rd in a Moleskine I keep with me for taking notes.  Every once in awhile, I’ll write a stream of thought.  This piece has been duplicated on this post without alteration to the stream of thought.

Mark 6:25-34

I am told not to worry about the details of this world.  He says not to worry about tomorrow.  I should not need to worry about the food I need, the clothes over me, or whether or not I am provided shelter.

Abandon these things of the world—not personally, but quit searching for it. Seek God first, not these little details of the world.  God promises He will provide.

What’s really stopping me from walking in faith?  He is there by my side.  He pulls me forward in the direction I asked for.  He’s feeding me the knowledge I need to understand that this is what I need to do—where I am going—what worldly things I need to leave behind.

Despite my current worldly struggles and sins, I don’t feel Him abandoning me now nor forever.  He is implanted in me.  Trust Him.  Walk forward in faith.  He will provide every need.

This was my first step in trusting God.  The second step was to Job’s story.  In case you haven’t read Job, here’s the gist of it.  Job loved and feared the Lord and because of this he was blessed with a fruitful life.  God allowed the devil to take away anything and everything important to Job.  He didn’t understand why and cried out to the Lord why these horrible events has happened to him.  At that point the skies opened up and God reminded Job his awesomeness of God (beings in Job 38).  Don’t forget, God is and always is in control.

Once I realized I can authentically trust God that my life is clearly in His hands, I moved on to the next step: planning.  When I’m planning, do not ever forget to put God first.  If the Holy Spirit is truly moving in you, you can and will make every decision that crosses your path with the wisdom provided by God through the Holy Spirit.  You are still making the decisions (make no mistake that you will always have your free will), but the Holy Spirit will guide you appropriately.

To man belongs the plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue (Proverbs 16:1)

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed. (Proverbs 16:3)

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

God’s will becomes yours.  Pray. Speak. Listen, carefully.