Category: Reflections

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Fourteen Tangible Goals for 2014

Well, it’s actually 13. In a nearly identical fashion for this year’s list, I crafted (maybe a bit too hastily) yet another tangible goal list for the upcoming new year.

Tangible Goal List for 2014

 

I know I still need to give an update how last year’s list is going. In short, I didn’t complete it, but it doesn’t matter because God showed me and blessed with so much more than I could ever want in a single year. At the of 2012, there was an outward-growth tone that I sensed. Nearing the end of 2013, I feel the growth is far more inward and I feel God will be challenging me in new ways where I have no choice but to keep Him close and carry an unshakable faith through this year. I’m a bit scared but curious. I don’t know 2014 will bring, but nonetheless I wrote this list and give it all to Him.

1. Write a tangible goal list for 2014.

Great! I’m off to a good start and it’s not even January yet!

2. Visit your girlfriend in Spain!

I know, I know, a lots happened since the last story about chasing after the 13th tangible goal of 2013. But let’s just say God keeps his promises and pours out His blessings in such beautiful and surprising ways. Anyway, she’s currently teaching in Spain for a year, and visiting her (also my first time leaving the country) is definitely on my tangible goal list.

3. Pay off your credit cards and don’t ever carry any revolving debt at any point this year!

At the end of 2012, I managed to pay off all my credit cards (just two) and start 2013 pretty new! It felt awesome and I had the best of intentions to keep myself debt free.1 But my spending quickly got out of hand. I had to pay for some major dental work. I ended up getting a new prescription for my glasses and contacts. For some strange reason I wanted to buy a couple of new suits even though I rarely ever have a need for suits. I bought a pair of hand made Italian shoes. I also found myself constantly going out with friends and doing things. That was definitely a contrast to last year where I spent majority if not all of my days on my own.

The first part of this goal should be easy to hit. I originally intend to be debt free by the end of 2013, but I fell short for about a month. The question is will I be able to stay debt free through the rest of the year?

4. Pay yourself first—at least 10% of all income goes to savings (after your tithe)

This should be pretty easy after being credit card debt free. God let’s me keep 90%. Right after that, I want to put the second 10% directly to savings. My real goal is to get my savings (since it’s my most liquid account) so that I have 6 months worth of living expenses. I originally wanted to do that this year, but that would mean I would have to cut my living expenses by at least half for all of 2014 to make that goal. I already made a lot of cuts (and I could do more) in the last three months. A side goal to this would be to get 3 months worth of living expenses to go to savings.

5. Contribute a minimum of $50/mo to your ROTH IRA

I must be a grown up now. I have both a 401k and a ROTH IRA! By the way, I wish I knew about the advantages of a ROTH IRA when I got my first job so many years ago. Fifty bucks a month isn’t much, but it’s definitely $50 more a month than this year. Ideally, I would like to max it out for the year ($5500), but let’s take it one step at a time.

6. Find a mentor

Just like last year. I still haven’t found one yet. Maybe 2014 will be the year for me to find someone who’s willing to mentor me! 🙂

7. Find a mentee

I sort of found on this year, but not really. Though… I could probably find one through the next tangible goal…

8. Be part of another ministry at Newsong

I was part of the Muffin Ministry this year as well as the morning prayer ministry, but during this period of “inward growth” I took a step back and I still want to find ministry I can be consistently a part of. I’m hoping nothing on the level of leading any ministry, but something more personal.

9. Collaborate with Mark to launch the first phase of Inspire Ave

I’ve been looking for a partner to build some kind of cool app or something. Turns out the guy found me at the start of the summer. We’re planning on building something that could change the outlook of finance. I can’t go into details yet, but I’m sure you’ll be hearing about it here and there on this blog mainly because Inspire Ave is Kingdom focus.

The first phase of the project consists of launching a marketable website, the RESTful API, and prototype mobile app (most likely HTML5-based for the prototyping). This is completely doable even with my current full-time job.

10. Visit my dad at least once every six weeks.

It was once a month, but considering I only see him and his wife on major holidays, I think once ever a six weeks is a pretty good start.

My dad an I haven’t been very close. I had this feeling over the summer that I should forgive as I grew up without him. God also (strongly) nudged me that I need to honor him despite his past (this goes the same for my mom). In 2014 I want to make the small steps to do just that. I don’t know what it means to honor your parents, but if it’s nothing like honoring God, it’s time.

11. Relaunch (yup, again) twinwork.net using WordPress instead of your custom platform.

So I did launch twinwork.net very early on this year with this platform I wrote using the Yii framework. So many things happened that I just couldn’t complete it. It was supposed to be something along the lines of a tech blogging platform. There so many of those, there really is no point  keep writing it. That’s why I want to finally give up my goal of creating a self-evolving blog that is twinwork.net and just use WordPress (which singlethread.org uses).

Though, the Twinwork Platform is not a complete lost. I just finished organizing the components and it’s going to be used for Inspire Ave.

12. Update your resume and LinkedIn profile and keep it current for every project you complete

This is something I’ve been meaning to do for awhile, but I have this eerie feeling that I’ll be glad I complete this goal very early in 2014 that later.

13. Upgrade your computer gear! (this will be the year, really!)

Yup, I failed at this for 2013, but it’s here again for 2014! Honestly, most of this list is finance related, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is pushed off for 2015. But it’s here just in case I find myself amazingly financially blessed (more so than now) that will be able to accomplish this goal.

14. Start and end every single day with your first love, your Father, your Savior, your Creator—our Mighty God.

I want to get better at this. I could look back at 2013 and say that I did an okay job with it, but seeing what He’s done in my life thus far, I really do want to give Him my all and definitely want to start and end my days with Him.

As I mentioned earlier, this list seemed very financial fueled (which includes Inspire Ave). There’s nothing related to my other hobbies in music of photography. I feel I need to enter a time of a bit of planning my future made with His wisdom. I know there’s still a lot of stuff (and things) I want to do, but it feels I need to make it right first and plan accordingly for years to go come. So yeah—2014 seems like a year filled with financial discipline! It doesn’t sound as fun as the tangible goals for 2013, but I’m still looking forward to it!

  1. I’m not counting my low interest student loans. I’ll take my sweet time paying those off for the next few years. [↩]
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Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Pastor Mike Erre shared this poem to help visualize what repentance means to him.  The reference can be found in the last sermon in EvFree Fullerton’s Sex, Love & God: All Things New. 

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Copyright © 1993, by Portia Nelson from the book There’s A Hole in My Sidewalk. Beyond Words Publishing, Hillsboro, Oregon.

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Remembering in Gratitude

People in the states call today Black Friday. It’s considered the first official Christmas shopping day of the year. They call it Black Friday because it’s supposedly the one day in the year retailers are able to “get back in the black” from this one day of shopping. I call it Black Friday because of the chaos, greed, and the pure ugliness what people are willing to do to get a better deal. And you know what my favorite part about Black Friday is? It follows Thanksgiving—a day where we lift up our gratitude for all the things up until that day, and we find ourselves immediately discontent with said things and want to find more stuff to satisfy us right after celebrating Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m the last person to past judgement on anyone who partakes in Black Friday. You may not find me in anywhere near any retail outlet today, but I do find myself checking out sales on the Internet through this entire weekend. My inbox this morning was filled with sales and deals from Amazon, Zappos, Newegg, eBay… the list goes on forever. I would like to say that I am impervious to their marketing, but deep down in my heart I do think, “If I only had this brand new <insert-awesome-new-thing>, it would make my life better.” With that very thought passing through my mind, I am no better than anyone else.

It’s not just in the retail space where I find myself discontent. I heard through the posts of Facebook a friend of mine finally proposed to his long-time girlfriend. They shared so much history together, it was inevitable that they were going to be married. I was excited for them—I congratulated them. But when I looked through the photos of their engagement celebration, the thought crept in wondering when will I get to have that experience? My friend just got promoted in his company, his career is taking off. From outside looking in, it seems like he’s at the top of his game. “When will I be there?” I thought.

It’s like I threw away every thing that was good before those moments. Why is it I always want more and can never be content what I have now? Why do I never remember where I was—selfishly being in the darkness pushing my LORD away?

I found myself wanting to train my mind—my heart—for Thanksgiving. I can’t think of being thankful for the sake of being thankful. There isn’t much weight behind that thought. But I wanted to remember where I was and how my sovereign and loving Father took me out from the mire and lifted me and placed me on His shoulders. I wanted to remember while in this earthly body, I am always going to be a work in progress. The life that I live and the predicaments I found myself is part of a larger story being written in the story of this world. How I respond with free will choice is a decision whether or not I love and trust my Maker. And when I find myself where I think I’m in darkness alone, will I remember the time when He found me and rescued me time and time again? I must remember all those things to be truly grateful and content.

Realizing that maybe it’s just another step I’m taking to grow in the Spirit.

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Inward Growth

It was clear to me that 2013 was going to be split in quarters for me. It was pretty obvious when I chased the 13th tangible goal. The end of that story and the beginning of new one—to serve with utmost obedience and joy—started at the start of April. I found myself more involved with church—whether that be a small group (two, actually), a feeding ministry, our normal Young Adults group, a leadership group, a morning prayer team that met twice a week, or just serving communion on Sundays. I was doing a lot. I knew this would happen when I stuck to my decision to not say “no” to anyone who asks for help. I would definitely have to say that I have successfully crossed out tangible goal #5 because of that.

As tired as I was participating in all of these different groups and ministries as well as balancing a full time job, I knew burn out was just around the corner. Many of my own peers constantly reminded me of this. Burn out from ministry happened to me before1, and I knew at this rate it will happen again. But every single time I would pray about it—whether or not I should step back from one or two (or even most) ministries, every being of me told me that I am to endure it through at this time. I would not only endure, but I need to do so with a renewed joy and happiness from within. I am to always look to God for rest and the energy I needed. The energy I needed to keep going wasn’t mine, and I knew I could do what I was doing because He called me to do so. The things I did was out of love for my God—in complete obedience.  I just knew the end of this kind of participation—which I always referred to as my “outward growth” phase—was going to come again at the end of the September. I had this feeling when I took a co-leader position for Muffin Ministry.

But that time was always a bit arbitrary in my head. I knew there were a number of people that I met at Newsong that were going to leave. They were off to find new work. They were going to graduate school. Everyone called it a “new season” in life—in both individuals and community groups. I hoped that time would also be mine. During my time with God, I would always ask if this season is coming to an end, and if so what is the next season supposed to be like. I find myself seeing hints of “inward growth”. I didn’t quite understand what that was supposed to be. I didn’t understand why I would go back to that because I felt that’s what I was doing for the past two years before I came down to Irvine—self discovery and seeking out the uniqueness of who He’s made me to be.

It wasn’t until the third quarter when God blessed me with a very unexpected and beautiful relationship. It was nearing the end of that quarter what I knew He’s called me to. And honestly, it really solidified this idea after my girlfriend left for Spain.2

And really, this next season of my life—at least until mid-2014 if not longer—is centered around what Paul wrote to the Galatians:

“So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won€™t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit€™s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”

– The Apostle Paul, Galatians 5:16-26 NLT

My focus is the fruit of the Spirit. We do not grow the fruit. Only the Holy Spirit will grow the fruit. We are no different than a farmer preparing the land to allow God to do His good work in us to let us grow into the Christ-like being we were designed for. It is in that I am to put my focus and energy. And I can honestly say that things will get harder and harder as I get closer to where He wants me to be. This is not to say that when I am finished with this season I will be the Christian follower I sought out for. No. But I feel I will reach a new level of understanding of God’s love for me and drive and passion to love others.

And there’s one thing extremely important about growth in the Spirit. The fruit that Paul writes about is its singular form. The fruit of the Spirit is all these things Paul wrote about: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness gentleness, and self-control. It’s all these things that will grow together. The fruit concatenates all these things and the true work of the Holy Spirit in us will grow this fruit at once.

At the time of this writing, I find myself impatient. In my search to condition my patience, I cannot do so in a vacuum.  I have to take in the other entities Paul writes about as I gain more patience. I do not do these things on my own. I have to ask the Spirit to work in me. That I do so with the faithfulness He has called me to have. That I may have patience and act out of love, kindness, and gentleness. From that I have an authentic outwardly appearance of joy and goodness. And in that the Spirit continues to grow that I may have peace and complete self-control over the situation that God has placed me so I may grow and serve for His purpose.

It’s only been a month. Every week with every day brings something new to test my endurance. I am already growing weary. Just like I did before in the first three quarters of this year, I must look to God for rest and energy. With Him I can do all things.

  1. I graduated from APU with a BA in Christian Ministry. My last year I needed to be an intern at a church. I interned at my home church at WVCC in Northridge—which was a 100 mile round trip drive. I needed to be out there three times a week. I was so burnt out of doing ministry, I knew I didn’t have the passion or drive to become a professional minister. I backed down from the prospects of doing ministry full time ever since. It’s taken me close to 8 years to get back into any kind of ministry at a church. Burn out is seriously bad. [↩]
  2. At the time of this writing, I still haven’t written this story. But in a nutshell, we did decide to do a long distance relationship. This is something I have never done before and am still scared how to this properly without being an idiot or just straight out losing her. She’ll be gone until next summer. [↩]