This scribe was written on Tuesday, April 16, 2005. It was originally privately published on j2 under the chapter for the Covina Chronicles. I was still attending Azusa Pacific University at the time. The style of writing is informal and very journal-like… that’s because it was originally part of a journal.
There are less than two weeks left of class then I’ll be on my way to graduating! There’s nothing that can stop me now—except for a couple of tough papers, but I’ve gotten through that before. Remember last semester? I almost had twice the work load last semester, and I finished just fine. So this semester should be a breeze, right? No, of course not!
Last week, I’ve been having sinus problems. Less than 48 hours ago, I came down with a cold. It is the same cold (flu?) that I came down with two months ago. That was horrible. I was incapable of doing anything for two weeks. And now I have it again. This time I’m a bit more aggressive against the cold. I have tea, chicken noodle soup, and drugs—lots of drugs! But I’m already behind in getting papers done. I needed to get two assignments done for tonight, but now it doesn’t even look like I’ll be getting one.
I started complaining and whining to God again how He “failed” to look over my health. Yes, arrogant and childish thinking. It feels like I’ve done something wrong to deserve this. Sure, my diet hasn’t been the healthiest, but it has been consistent. And if my diet is consistent (albeit consistently bad), I don’t know where my cold originated. No one else is sick in the house.
That said, it’s pretty easy to understand why I’m complaining about this cold. It is putting additional strain on my academics. I feel like giving up right now. But I am slowing learning a few things by going through this sickness. I can only do things through God. I think I first realized this during my golf class. I didn’t want to go, but at the same time I wanted to get out of the house. It was a nice and cool spring day. There were a few clouds in sky, but the sun did its best to shine through.
As usual, we were out on the driving range. I had a six iron. I switched out to a 3, but I didn’t do well after my first hit. I whacked the ball a good 150 yards with the three iron, but the club felt too different. I was exhausted due to the cold. I took a break before going at it again with a a six iron. My body hurt. The cold was sucking the energy out of my body. I didn’t want to swing anymore. It came down to the last three golf balls of the class. The first two swings were okay. It didn’t go nearly as straight as I normally hit it nor as far.
Then I pulled the last golf ball into position. I was weak. This last swing was going to be horrible. I took a practice swing. I could already feel my back giving way. Then I looked at the golf ball and spoke to God.
“You know what? This last swing is for you. Look at me. I am weak, yet I am the perfect being you created me to be. My flaws and imperfections are considered perfect in Your eye. Here I am: sick and weak. Yet, I am going to swing with all of my heart and all of my strength to show you what this ‘perfect’ being you created can do.”
It was more like a sarcastic taunt than anything else. I figure that ball was going to go no more than fifty yards. I normally get around a hundred yards with a six iron. My best swing for the day with that 6-iron was about 120 yards.
I pulled the club back and took a three quarters swing at the ball. Once I made contact and followed through, I realized no other swing prior to that has ever felt so good. The swing was perfect. That ball flew higher and farther than it ever did. on target nonetheless. It landed past 160 yard mark. I was dumbfounded.
From the moment on, I understood what it meant to do your best and when you do all things for the glory of God. God will work in you to do amazing things. He did this with this flawed and ill body of mine. It was a demonstration of what He can do in my life if I just let Him.
So why is this amazing? It could have been a lucky swing, right? It could have been a small chance it was luck but unlikely. If you’ve ever played golf, you would know that a golf swing uses a set of muscles you don’t normally use on a daily basis. These set of muscles placed all over the body (arms, legs, torso, back, hands, etc) need to work in sync with each other in order to produce a good swing. The only way you can get a perfect swing is by constantly practicing and teaching your muscles to remember what to do as you take the swing. Also, each swing takes a different set of muscles whether it is one quarter, half, three quarters, or a full swing. I’ve only been at the driving range for a semester because of this class. There’s no way I produced proper muscle memory for a golf swing in that amount of time.
There’s a lot of crap going on when you take a swing. I was fatigued because of the cold. Yet, God took my body and used it perfectly to hit the tiny little good for nothing golf ball. Unfortunately, no one else saw that perfect golf swing. Our coach didn’t see it. None of the students who were around me paid any attention to my swing. None of the other golfers in the area noticed. It’s okay. That swing was for God, and He did it through me. I saw His awe in that ball as it flew over 160 yards. I’m beginning to slowly understand the awesome power that God has at His disposal ready to be used through me. Imagine that. It was a golf swing. What else could he do through me?
So yes, it does suck that I’m sick. But I think I could get by.